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| Uhggg, why?I really hate what i am. I hate how i have no control over anything i eat. I just want to be thin, skinny, and beautiful. Over the past month, I have binged all this food. Thats all ive done. I have gained so much weight, and im just so fat. =( Im getting new books tomorrow about eating disorders. They'll keep me busy and i find them very thinspirational. I also will be getting some diet pills soon called Hydroxycut. So thats good. Im excited. Uhggg i need to get to 100 pounds for grade 11. I HAVE to. I am so fat right now. I just wanna be thin. 
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| oh yah.Well, i have not been doing good latley. Been binging again. But ive been working out alot. I have been doing 100-200 crunches a day, doing lunges, jogging and so on. Its spring break. And im going shopping twice in the next week. Yayy, im excited. Im just gunna get alot of spandex pants, and sweats. But not ugly ones. Ones to show off my ass, because im gunna have a nice one soon from all these lunges ive been doing.  Hahhaha. Tomorrow im going to the mall the whole day with my best friend. And she knows how hardcore i am with dieting, so she doesnt care if i eat anything or not cause shes kinda doing the same as me. So im gunna try and not eat anything the whole day! Woohhh. Me and my bf are back together. We fixed things. He apoligized for calling me selfish and shallow for dieting, and he said sorry for trying to change me into someone im not. And i apoligized for neglecting him. Blah blah blah, so now were good. And thats good, cause when i wasnt dating him for those 2 days, i was the most miserable i have ever been. He was the only boy i ever cried about. And i got extremely depressed. :( but its all fine now. | | |
| Oh my god.All im saying is me and my boyfriend broke up. I dumped him cause i felt like he was trying to chnage me into someone who im not. Also he called me selfish and shallow for dieting. And we had this huge conversation and im just so upset right now. Uhgg. I have been crying and sleeping ever since i got home. Fuck my life. I seriosly have no one. No one at all. And im fat too. So isnt my life just fucken great. | | |
| Fatt.Oh my god, i am just so upset today. I've been eating like a cow again. I just cant seem to stay strong and have control. And everything is depressing me. I dont want to talk to anyone at all. I stayed home today. But i ate horrible stuff. :( I am just so lonely oh my god. I have C.A.L.M class now instead of info pro. I hate it soo much. I have like no friends with me in there. All the kinda girls that intimidate you, the ones that think they're all that are in there. And im horrible for making new friends. I just can't do it. And i dont really want to either. I just hate being alone. Omgg, well atleast spring break is in three days. But at the same time im worried. What if all i do is eat during spring break. And my boyfriend just called me and i just dont wanna talk to him right now. :( Uhggg. | | |
| 118.Yayy, im so happy. Im 118 pounds. Now just 18 more pounds to go lol. I can do it. :) so im going to my boyfriends house in an hour. And im planning on not eating the whole day, or if i do eat, it will be vey little. Kay so im not gunna weigh myself for another week again. Cause i find that when i weigh myself every day. and then one day i dont lose anything, i get very dissapointed with myself. So i just wont weigh myself for another week. =] | | |
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